God-Level Knowledge Darts: Life Lessons from the Bronx

Pay with

About God-Level Knowledge Darts: Life Lessons From The

Product Description NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “Desus & Mero are smarter and funnier than everyone writing books.”—Shea Serrano “I will never write anything as hilarious as they have. I give up.”—Malcolm Gladwell “These motherf***ers make me laugh until I choke.”—Jia Tolentino   NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY NPRA wild, hilarious guide to life from the hosts of the hit late-night show Desus & Mero and the Bodega Boys podcast Who could have predicted that, after a fateful meeting in a Bronx summer school in the 1990s, Desus & Mero would turn their friendship into an empire of talking to each other. And it’s no surprise—tuning in to them is like listening to the funniest, smartest people you know dissect a topic and then light it on fire. Now they’ve written the most essential guide to life of this century*, in which all the important questions are asked: How do I talk to my kids about drugs if I do them, too? What are the ethics of ghosting in a relationship? How do I bet on sports? How should I behave in jail? How much is too much to spend on sneakers? Is porn really that bad for me?   As they put it: “We want to share all we’ve learned, after years in the Bronx streets, with you: the people. So with a lifetime spent building up a plethora of information from trials and tribulations and a handful of misdemeanors, we decided to write this book—a sequel to the Bible, or maybe to  The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,depending on how big a nerd you are. Let this book be your North Star.”   *NO REFUNDS Review “Listen, we all knew that Desus & Mero were smarter and funnier than everyone making TV. I’m sad to now report: They’re smarter and funnier than everyone writing books, too.  God-Level Knowledge Darts is a delight. It’s consistently hilarious and surprisingly tender. Every single page made me laugh.” —#1 New York Times bestselling author Shea Serrano   “When I met Desus & Mero, I realized that I would never be as funny or cool as they are. And when I read this book, I realized that I would never write anything as hilarious as they have. I give up.” —Malcolm Gladwell, bestselling author of Talking to Strangers   “Desus & Mero getting famous is one of the greatest cultural blessings in recent history. They are quite possibly the only acceptable source of popular wisdom, and this book is wonderful and ridiculous—these motherf***ers make me laugh until I choke.” —Jia Tolentino, bestselling author of Trick Mirror About the Author Desus Nice and  The Kid Mero are multitalented comedians, writers, and podcasters who currently co-host Showtime's first-ever late-night talk show,  Desus & Mero, as well as the long-running  Bodega Boys podcast. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. Preface Setting Expectations HELLO ESTEEMED READER. I AM THE KID MERO. CONGRATULATIONS ON SELECTING SUCH AN IMPORTANT AND CULTURALLY RELEVANT BOOK. TYPICALLY WHEN PEOPLE CALL SHIT “CULTURALLY RELEVANT” AND “IMPORTANT,” IT’S BECAUSE IT SUCKS. BUT THERE’S MAD WHITE GUILT ATTACHED TO TEARING DOWN A POC AUTHOR IN 2020, ESPECIALLY ONE LIKE ME THAT CHECKS MULTIPLE BOXES *USES #2 PENCIL TO FILL IN BLACK AND LATINO* SO I CAN FREELY SAY IT ABOUT MY OWN SHIT. THE F*** YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT? I AM POC (I PRONOUNCE IT LIKE 2PAC) AND THEREFORE BEYOND REBUKE. FORTUNATELY FOR YOU, THIS BOOK REALLY IS F***ING PHENOMENAL AND WILL BE ON YOUR KIDS’ COLLEGE SYLLABUS FOR THE CLASS “IDENTIFYING WITH OTHERNESS IN CULTURE” IF THEY GO TO A VERY EXPENSIVE PRIVATE INSTITUTION. PLEASE ENJOY THIS BOOK OVER AND OVER WHILE YOU COMMUTE TO WORK, TAKE A SHIT, TAKE A SHIT WHILE COMMUTING TO WORK. BRUH IF YOU SHIT ON NJ TRANSIT YOU ARE A SPECIAL TYPE OF SAVAGE. WHATEVER. I LOVE YOU. SOME OF THIS ADVICE IS GREAT AND SOME OF IT ABSOLUTELY F***IN SUCKS, WHICH, IN A WAY, MAKES THIS A CHOOSE-YOUR-OWN-ADVENTURE BOOK. LOOK AT HOW DYNAMIC THE BRAND IS. I’M GONNA LET DESUS SAY SOMETHING HERE BECAUSE I’M GETTING AN