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The Co-Parenting Survival Guide: Letting Go of Conflict After a Difficult Divorce
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About The Co-Parenting Survival Guide: Letting Go Of
From Publishers Weekly When couples have children, an acrimonious divorce can be painful for everyone involved. Couples can bear enormous resentment, anger and disappointment toward each other yet they still have to collaborate on one of the most complicated and difficult jobs in the world: child-rearing. Too often the intricacies of visitation, holiday plans and differences over discipline are left to lawyers, escalating the antagonism. Psychologists Elizabeth S. Thayer and Jeffrey Zimmerman argue that it doesn't have to be that way, and in The Co-Parenting Survival Guide: Letting Go of Conflict After a Difficult Divorce they help parents work harmoniously with their exes. Founders of Parents Allied to Co-Parent Effectively (PEACE), a service for high-conflict divorced or divorcing parents, the authors offer advice from conflict resolution to dealing with stepparents that could save parents thousands of dollars in legal fees and protect kids from needless misery and trauma. ( Aug. Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc. Product Description You may be winning the battle in court, but losing the war at home, saddened at the wounds your children bear as a result of this conflict. But because you are willing to do anything to help your children thrive, you can learn to build a parenting partnership with your former mate in spite of the history between you. The Co-Parenting Survival Guide shows you how to avoid the hot spots and the common traps of hostility, inflexibility, and constant squabbling, and develop skills to sustain a co-parenting partnership based on love and concern for your children, so they can best benefit from two parents living separately but working together. From Library Journal These two works both focus on helping families adjust to divorce, but they have very different audiences. In The Co-Parenting Survival Guide, psychologists Thayer and Zimmerman, cofounders of the P.E.A.C.E. program (Parents Allied to Co-Parent Effectively), present straightforward advice to parents in high-conflict divorces. Their aim is to help ex-spouses reduce strife and concentrate on their children's needs. After explaining the concept of conflict in early chapters, the authors go on to offer specific guidelines for defusing common confrontations, such as parenting plans, transitions, special events, and new relationships. Thayer and Zimmerman insist that even one parent acting alone can lessen conflict. References for further research are included. On the other hand, Not Damaged Goods is written for children of divorce. Walther heads a divorce counseling firm and has written and lectured widely on divorce. Each of the eight chapters, arranged according to the age of the child from infancy through adulthood (age 30 and beyond), shares stories to help readers clarify their emotions, questions to answer and apply to their own lives, and exercises for building self-esteem. While the idea of providing stories and activities in a workbook-type format certainly has merit, the scope of Not Damaged Goods is so large that only a few pages apply to any age group and is therefore fairly superficial, recommending it for large collections only. As pointed out in Judith Wallerstein's The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce and Stephanie Staal's The Love They Lost (both LJ 9/15/00) divorce has long-lasting effects, and children in those situations require special attention. The Co-Parenting Survival Guide builds on those findings and is recommended for all libraries. Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, MD Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc. Review “The Co-Parenting Survival Guide offers compassion and wisdom in calming the destructive aspects of conflict so that the most important individuals o fall, the children of divorce, can grow up healthy.” —Carla B. Garrity, Ph.D., and Mitchell A Baris, Ph.D., authors, Children of Divorce and Caught in the Middle “This book is very vivid reminder to parents of the damage tha
