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How Can I Ever Trust You Again?: Infidelity: From Discovery to Recovery in Seven Steps
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About How Can I Ever Trust You Again?: Infidelity: From
Product Description There are few things in life more traumatic than discovering that your partner is having an affair. You are not only coping with the pain and anger but also the sense that your partner is a stranger. How could someone you love, and thought that you knew, treat you like this? How can you ever trust your partner again? Don't panic. Millions of ordinary men and women have trodden the same path and come out the other end with not only their love restored but a significantly stronger and better relationship. Whether you are the discoverer of the affair or whether you were discovered, Marshall offers guidance and support, and explains: The seven stages that couples move through from discovery to recovery.What makes people more vulnerable to affairs. The eight types of infidelity and how understanding your partner's affair is key to deciding whether you should stay or go.How to stop your imagination running wild and your brain from going into meltdown.Why some couples emerge stronger and why others get derailed from the recovery process. With over thirty years' experience as a marital therapist, Marshall draws on hundreds of case studies and provides practical, compassionate and sensible advice to keep your relationship alive. As he says, "It might sound strange, but you can turn this crisis from the worst thing that has happened to your relationship into one of the best. About the Author Andrew G. Marshall (London, England) is a marital therapist with 30 years' counseling experience. His books include the international bestseller I Love You But I'm Not in Love with You, which has been translated into more than fifteen languages and I Love You But You Always Put Me Last. He also offers private counseling and workshops in London, England, and writes for the Mail on Sunday, Times, Guardian, and Psychologies. Visit him at www.andrewgmarshall.com Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. IntroductionAlmost one in five couples who come to my marital counseling office are dealing with the fallout from an affair. In fact, it is the fourth most common reason for seeking my help. According to Kinsey's groundbreaking research in forties and fifties America, 26 percent of married women and 50 percent of married men had cheated on their spouses; while the British Sexual Fantasy Research Project found that 55 percent of the adult population has committed adultery at some point. Subsequent research has produced similar findings. When you throw in all the couples who have been living together or dating, the numbers are even greater. At times, it feels like a tidal wave of misery, betrayal, and hurt is flooding my therapy office.However, it is not all bad news. Infidelity might be a terrible crisis but the Chinese symbol for crisis is made up of two words: danger and opportunity. If you have bought this book after discovering your partner's adultery, or because your own adultery has been discovered and your relationship is hanging in the balance, you will be only too aware of the danger. My aim is to open your eyes to the opportunity. Infidelity turns life upside down and makes you question everything. The fear that it could all happen again shines a spotlight on all the murky corners of your relationship and provides the impetus to change. Sometimes clients moan: 'I just want my old life back.' That's not possible, but if you seize on the opportunity part of crisis, you can find a deeper, more durable, and ultimately better relationship.I have tried to keep the tone of this book compassionate. (There are exceptions, but few people set out to have an affair.) It is mainly aimed at the Discoverers of adultery―because they are generally the most hurt and most in need of answers―but each chapter has a box addressed specifically to the Discovered. My hope is that couples will share the book and find that the exercises provide them with a bridge to understanding each other better. If you are the
