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Product Description Picking up right at the point where Janet Woititz’s 1990 hit book Adult Children of Alcoholics left off, clinical psychologist Tian Dayton’s latest contribution contains fresh perspectives and new analysis on how to gain back emotional stability after growing up with the trauma of addiction, abuse, and dysfunction. Dr. Dayton accomplishes this by presenting and explaining the latest research in neuropsychology and the role trauma plays on chemically altering the brain. With compassion and clear explanations and her own personal journey, Dayton teaches readers how to undo the neuropsychological damage of trauma to rewire the brain and reverse the negative effects trauma has on our future relationships and behaviors to gain emotional sobriety. In Emotional Sobriety, Dr. Dayton teaches readers: How to understand the mind/body relationship of addiction and relationship trauma How to rewire your brain to undo the negative effects trauma has on personal, career, and romantic relationships How changing the way one lives and perceives adult relationships can change the way one thinks and feels and vice versa Review 'A holistic approach to healing the mind, body, and spirit--which is the essence of healthy recovery. . . . An essential guide to healing the hole in the soul, the hurt in all of us." --William Cope Moyers, Author of Broken About the Author Tian Dayton, Ph.D.,TEP, holds a doctorate in clinical psychology, a master's in educational psychology and is a certified trainer and practitioner of psychodrama, sociometry and group psychotherapy. A fellow of the American Society of Psychodrama, Sociometry and Group Psychotherapy, she is in private practice in New York City. She speaks nationwide at conferences and has appeared on MSNBC, CNN, The John Walsh Show, Montel, Rikki Lake, Geraldo, America's Health Network, Gary Null, NPR and many more. She is the author of thirteen books. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. 1 What Is Emotional Sobriety? Curiously the subject of emotions was studied very little until the past couple of decades. Previously we were worshippers of the mind. We lived as if our emotions were incidental little things that leaked out over sentimental songs or bubbled forward during evocative occasions like beach walks, graduations, or weddings. We imagined our thoughts ruled the day and emotions followed neatly in line. But recent research in neuroscience suggests just the opposite. Emotions, it turns out, impact our thinking more than our thinking impacts our emotions. The emotional part of our brain actually sends more inputs to the thinking part of our brain than the opposite (Damasio 1999). In other words, when our emotions are out of control, so is our thinking, and when we can't bring our feeling and thinking into some sort of balance, our life and our relationships feel out of balance too. Emotional sobriety encompasses our ability to live with balance and maturity. It means that we have learned how to keep our emotions, thoughts, and actions within a balanced range. Our thinking, feeling, and behavior are reasonably congruent, and we're not ruled or held captive by any one part of us. We don't live in our heads, our emotions don't run us, and we aren't overly driven by unconscious or compulsive behaviors. We operate from a reasonably integrated flow and enjoy a life experience that is more or less balanced and present-oriented. We're not 'off the wall,' and at those moments when we do fly off the wall, as all of us do and probably need to now and then, we can find our way back again. Feelings Came First Emotions came long before thinking in our human evolution. The limbic system developed eons before the prefrontal cortex or the thinking part of our brain.Emotions are adaptive, telling us all sorts of very important things. They tell us what is important to us and how much attention to give it. Madison Avenue has known about this for a