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Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. Introduction Introduction Strange thing, management. It's something few of us set out in life to do, yet most of us find ourselves doing at some point. Career adviser: What would you like to do when you finish school? 16-year-old: I want to be a manager. Did this happen to you? No, me neither. But here you are anyway. As a manager you are expected to be a lot of things. A tower of strength, a leader and innovator, a magician (conjuring up pay raises, resources, and extra staff at the drop of a hat), a kindly uncle/aunt, a shoulder to cry on, a dynamic motivator, a stern but fair judge, a diplomat, a politician, a financial wizard (no, this is quite different from being a magician), a protector, a savior and a saint. You are responsible for a whole group of people who you probably didn't pick, may not like, might have nothing in common with, and who perhaps won't like you much. You have to coax out of them a decent day's work. You are also responsible for their physical, emotional, and mental safety and care. You have to make sure they don't hurt themselves—or each other. You have to ensure they can carry out their jobs according to whatever guidelines your industry warrants. You have to know your rights, their rights, the company's rights, the union's rights. And on top of all this, you're expected to do your job as well. Oh yes, and you have to remain cool and calm—you can't shout, throw things, or have favorites. This management business is a tall order.... You are responsible for looking after and getting the best out of a team. This team may behave at times like young children—and you can't smack them1 (or possibly even fire them). At other times they will behave like petulant teenagers—sleeping in late, not showing up, refusing to do any real work if they do show up, skipping out early—that sort of thing. Like you, I've managed teams (in my case, up to a hundred people at a time). People whose names I was expected to know, and all their little foibles—ah, Heather can't work late on Tuesday because her daughter has to be picked up from play group. Trevor is colorblind, so we can't use him at the trade show. Mandy sulks if left to answer the phones at lunchtime and loses us customers. Chris is great in a team but can't motivate herself to do anything solo. Ray drinks and shouldn't be allowed to drive himself anywhere. As a manager, you are also expected to be a buffer zone between higher management and your staff. Nonsense may come down from on high, but you have to a) sell it to your team, b) not groan loudly or laugh, and c) get your team to work with it even if it is nonsense. You also have to justify the "no pay raises this year" mentality even if it has just completely demotivated your team. You will have to keep secret any knowledge you have of takeovers, mergers, acquisitions, secret deals, senior management buyouts, and the like, despite the fact that rumors are flying and you are being constantly asked questions by your team. You are responsible not only for people but also for budgets, discipline, communications, efficiency, legal matters, union matters, health and safety matters, personnel matters, pensions, sick pay, maternity leave, paternity leave, holidays, time off, time out, time sheets, charity collections, schedules, industry standards, fire drills, first aid, fresh air, heating, plumbing, parking spaces, lighting, stationery, resources, and coffee. And that's not to mention the small matter of customers. And you will have to fight with other departments, other teams, clients, senior bosses, senior management, the board, shareholders, and the accounting department (unless, of course, you are the manager of the accounting department). You are also expected to set standards. This means you are going to have to be an on-time, up-front, smartly dressed, hard-working, industrious, late-staying, early-rising, detached, responsible, caring, knowledgeabl